The DMV

Long story short...I lost my driver's license this weekend. I know where I had it last, but it's not there now, so I had to go to the DMV this morning to get a new one. Of course I was dreading it because we all know that the DMV is hell on earth and it's the last place you want to go on a beautiful Wednesday morning. But, I was pleasantly surprised at just how painless the process was.

I had checked online and seen that they opened at 8:00, but wasn't able to get there until 8:45. When I walked up, there was a line of people from the front door, across the lawn and to the parking lot. I thought to myself; it's been open for 45 minutes and there's still a line across the lawn?! This can't be good. Turns out I read the website wrong and they actually didn't open until 9:00. Once they did, I just breezed through the line! Next! Next! Next! The gals at the window kept things running smoothly.

When I got to the window, I was given a form to fill out and told to get back in line when I was done to get a number. A number?? This was news to me. I don't ever remember there being a number system at the DMV. It was kind of a cross between Bingo and Keno (I'll call it Kingo), where everyone has a letter and a number and you watch the screen while a robotic woman's voice announces each number and what window to go to. My number was G005 and when I sat down and looked at the screen, the woman announced G004. Great! I thought. I'm going to be next! Except I wasn't. The woman started calling all the B's and C's and even a few H's. No more G's. The two people sitting in front of me were G's too and were getting just as antsy as I. Imagine 30+ people staring at this screen in a daze, waiting for their kingo number to pop up. It was pretty entertaining.

So, I sat patiently, reading the crawl going across the bottom of the screen that was in Spanish. I thought it was the perfect opportunity to practice my reading, but quickly realized I was completely lost. I didn't understand a single word other than "accidente." Apparently my knowledge of Spanish is limited to food, certain verbs and nouns, insults and days of the week. When it comes to the elements of driving and California laws...I know nada.

So, I gave up on that and started studying the poster of missing people. But because I didn't recognize anyone and knew I wouldn't remember their faces, I just looked for them in the DMV. I didn't find anyone.

Finally, my kingo number was called and I was assigned to window 18. After paying my $22, Roberto told me that I had to take a new picture. WHAT??? I had always been so proud of my license with my 12 year old picture. I'd enjoy how it totally didn't look like me anymore, but it never kept me from getting in to any bars. Now I had to get a new one?? I should have known. My bangs look like crap today. Damn you Roberto. You don't know how much I flat-ironed and hairsprayed them this morning and they still look like a hot mess. Damn you Roberto and your flash that is way too bright!

Another surprise was that they took my thumb print. What's up with that? What would they POSSIBLY need that for? Are they going to print it and put it on my license like a Mission Impossible thing?

So, that was that. My whole image of the DMV is now changed forever. I was done in an hour and back to work. Now, I just can't go to any bars for the next 4-6 weeks, but I think after this weekend that's not going to be a bad thing. Which reminds me that I will need to make another posting about just how fantastic my birthday weekend was!