My Street

I was driving home today when I saw two shirtless men with ZZ Top-style beards, poking along on a bright red tractor with two huge US flags sticking out off the front. On any other street, I would probably surprised. But since it was my street...I just shook my head.

We live just off one of the main drags in town and my bedroom overlooks the street. The most bizarre stuff happens on this road. The street ITSELF is a total anomaly to me! After nearly 3 years, I still don't get it, but pretty much nothing surprises me anymore.

The street is like a perfect blend of rural country road and major urban freeway. If there can be a perfect blend. At anytime of day, there will be ambulances and firetrucks screaming, cars speeding and motorcyclists roaring by my window. Then, I'll go out for my evening jog and have to stop to let a family of deer cross the road to frolic up the hill. There are neighborhoods with tons of houses, yet acres of open meadows. With the hills, trees, grass, flowers and park, you'd think you were in the country, yet at every intersection there are tire marks from people spinning donuts. You'll have to stop while someone crosses the road on their horse, then pass an 18 wheeler a block later.

Then there's the deer, raccoons, skunks, foxes, snakes, squirrels and birds (including a couple extremely loud owls). I was driving home late at night a few months ago, when this huge, white, monster caught my eye ahead of me. As I stopped, it slowly came out in front of my car and sauntered across the street. OH MY GOD! IT'S A FREAKING WOLF! HE'S GOING TO JUMP ON MY CAR AND TRY TO RIP OUT MY THROAT! Turns out, it wasn't a wolf...but a coyote, which (like a wolf) is not able to tear the door off my car to attack me. It took me awhile to process that. Just like the time I was snorkeling in Hawaii and was almost attacked by a manatee...which turned out to be a sea turtle and just as harmless. Anyway, so all these poor creatures have to maneuver their way across the street, avoiding cars, trucks, 18 wheelers, tractors (apparently), emergency vehicles and hoards of people jogging and biking up and down the hills. I feel so guilty for enjoying my home which was CLEARLY built in their habitat.

Other oddities: Twice I've been sitting downstairs watching TV and a hub cab has come flying off someone's tire, jumped the curb and slammed into the fence outside my open sliding glass door. Scared me half to death. How does that happen in the same spot TWICE?! I always see fast food wrappers on my runs, yet there are no fast food places around. There's a bright orange Scion with the license plate "IWNDSCR" that took me forever to figure out. The white F350 looks like it's been rolled off a cliff a couple times, yet it's still drivable. There's the house with 7 (YES 7!) new and vintage Mercedes parked in front. I watch old men easily ride their beach cruisers up the hills, yet I can't make it up on my mountain bike. Mysterious...or suspicious??

Only on this street.