Oh Charles!
Why do you hate me so?
You ripped me from my peaceful sleep last night,
And brought along your horrible Equine of Death with you.
I jolted out of bed screaming as you stabbed me over and over,
And I threw off the covers trying to find some relief from the pain.
Oh Charles!
Don't you know everyone hates you?
You haunt us in the dead of the night,
And ruin our dream-filled slumber.
We want to forever banish you and your equine from our rooms,
But you always manage to sneak into our beds when we least expect it.
Oh Charles!
Why are you so cruel?
I was weak from the remnants of your piercing pain all day long,
As I tried to hobble gracefully on my new wedges.
Oh the sympathies I got when I told people of your visit;
"Dude. Last night I was damn near killed by a Charlie Horse!"
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