*Ollie*

I think it's about time that I wrote a little about Ollie since she's one of the most important people (I think of her as one) in my life and I've had little time to spend with her lately. We have a very special relationship that some of you have been lucky enough to witness.

Here are only some of the reasons why I love Ollie:

1. She only likes me and runs away from everyone else.

2. She LOVES the sounds of running water and plastic bags. She goes crazy when I do the dishes or come home from the grocery store and crinkle the bags.

3. She scuttles from one end of her cage to another. See example below.

4. She shows her love by nuzzling my nose, kissing my cheeks, playing with my hair and earrings and biting my glasses.

5. She likes to talk when I'm on the phone.

6. Like most women, she has self esteem issues and is always looking at herself in the mirror.

7. She poops when she's nervous.

8. She actually does NOT like having her picture taken, but that doesn't stop me. See example below.

9. She only takes baths (in her water dish) on Saturdays and Sundays.

10. She likes Rice Crispies cereal.

11. She always greets me with chirps when I come home from work.

12. She's blue!

No Time to do Nothing

Oh no, you read that right. I didn't mean "no time to do anything"...I meant that I have no time to do NOTHING. Up until a few weeks ago, I was one of those rare people who had no life. I would go to work, the gym, come home, take a nap, watch TV and go to bed. The funny thing is; I LOVED that non-life. I even started this blog thinking; This will be something fun to do when I'm sitting at home in front of the computer doing nothing. Boy have things changed!

It wasn't just the blog that I added to my plate. Since I had no life, I figured learning how to golf would be something to occupy myself. I didn't realize that would be several nights a week of practicing. Then I decided to move forward in my quest to become an expert seamstress and start making Carolyn and myself sundresses. Now our living room looks like a disaster with my sewing machine, ironing board, patterns and fabric everywhere because I don't have time to finish them. Oh and of course to make THAT scenario worse, I've signed up for a sewing class on Monday nights. (Yes, I'm a dork)

Then there are friends to see, phone calls to take, places to visits, appointments to keep, dog parks to go to (and I don't even have a dog!), shopping to be done and a birthday to plan. It's gotten so bad that I actually have to mathematically figure out when I absolutely HAVE to go to the gas station and schedule that in to my week. The only time I had to go to the grocery store last week was on a day I called in sick for work. Then there are those movies I've rented and shows I've taped that are waiting to be watched. The true victim of my schedule though is Ollie, who I have no time to cuddle with and need to make reminders for myself to refill her food dish.

So, I've started multi-tasking more. During my lunch breaks, I've been planning my birthday weekend. At the driving range yesterday, as Alison can frustratingly testify, I had 3 or 4 phone calls come in that I briefly took. I hadn't visited with Lee in awhile, so we met tonight at the dog park for awhile before I went swimming. I'll be starting to read my February issue of Oprah's magazine at the gym in hopes of eventually getting to the March and April issues that are sitting on the floor by my bed. I figure my next step will be to finish my sewing while I sleepwalk.

Now, none of this is to brag about my popularity of course. This is truly a complaint. Anyone who knows me well, knows how much I value doing nothing. Sitting in front of the TV, taking a nap, surfing the web; what could be more fun?? I used to think of my friends like Kim and Kathryn, who are literally so busy that I need to schedule time to visit with them sometimes weeks or months in advance. I could never understand how people could put that much on their plate. Now, my plate is overflowing and I'm left tired and sore (mostly from the golf and gym).

The good news is, I'm having fun and enjoying life and friends. Today I spontaneously booked a trip to Vegas for next week. I'll be jet-setting there Tuesday, hanging out with Brenda for the day, partying like an heiress/celebutant that night with Tonia, then flying home Wednesday. Hopefully I'll be visiting Juliana and Matt in their new apartment next weekend. The weekend after that is my birthday extravaganza where I'll have all my friends in one spot to hang out for the weekend. I can't wait! Life is good...and busy. But, I might just have to schedule some time in to do nothing.

P.S. Lee and I have decided to go to the dog park every Tuesday before my swimming. I'll have to write about it the next time we go. There are some FINE examples of best of breed...and their dogs are pretty cute too ;)

It's Almost Easter...

Hey Four Eyes!

I've had the worst luck getting my new pair of glasses. My first prescription was way too strong, so I had to go back to get re-examined. After a full-out argument with the nazi receptionist (who actually wanted me to pay for the prescription to be corrected), I managed to get a different doctor to do another exam. But that prescription turned out to be too weak in my right eye. So, beyond frustrated, I decided to go to a completely different office to have an exam by a THIRD doctor, who finally got it right! Dr. Gee ROCKS!! In the meantime, with each new prescription, it would take LensCrafters two-and-a-half weeks to make my glasses because they never had the right lenses in stock. Forget about glasses in about an hour!

So after more than a month, Goldilocks has a pair of glasses that are juuuuuuust right. Here's to stylish geeks everywhere!

FLY AWAY HOME!

Every morning for the past week, the most annoying bird has been hanging around in the tree outside our kitchen window. Normally, I love the little swallows outside and find their chirping enjoyable. But this bird is no swallow and I have no idea where the heck he came from, but I wish he would just go home!

It's hard to describe his call, but it reminds me of some kind of futuristic laser ray. A little like a "Star Wars-esque" light saber with a nuclear, hyper-active battery. I've never heard anything like it. The worst part is that he's EXTREMELY loud and constant. Every 5 seconds for the entire 20 minutes I'm eating my breakfast, making my lunch and getting my things together, this stupid bird just keeps on chirping. He's so annoying in fact, that even Ollie doesn't talk to him and Ollie talks to every bird that hangs out outside our kitchen window.

I didn't mind him so much when he arrived on Monday and I even found him a little funny on Tuesday. But by Wednesday, I was so exhausted that I just wanted the dumb thing to SHUT UP. Then for the past couple days, he's nearly driven me to the point of madness. So, yesterday I told myself that if he was back this morning, I'd take some video. Sure enough (to my dismay) he was back. It's so dark in the mornings that I haven't been able to see what he looks like, but you can hear for yourself how bizarre he is. The sound in the video is a little muffled and I'm afraid you may really miss out on just how high-pitched and punctuated he is. But, you definitely get the idea of why he's been driving me crazy.

Carrie Underwood & Keith Urban

Tuesday night Alison, Juliana, Carolyn and I went to the Carrie Underwood and Keith Urban concert at the HP Pavillion in San Jose. It was soooo good! Definitely one of the best concerts I've been to. Forget country....this was a genuine rock-and-roll show! Carrie, in her thigh-high boots, was AWESOME and sounded amazing. That girl can sing! Keith and his band were just as good of course. I didn't know much of his music before the concert, but I'm definitely a fan now. Here were some pics we snapped during the night.

The tour bus was parked right out in front. Perfect placement for a photo op.

They did a duo of "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around." Any concert is good if they cover a Stevie Nicks song!

Instructions for Dogs on How to Hug a Baby

Mom forwarded me this email yesterday (apparently it's been going around awhile so you may have seen it):

INSTRUCTIONS FOR DOGS ON HOW TO HUG A BABY

1. First, spy a baby

2. Second, be sure that the object you spied was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques. If you smell baby powder and the wonderful aroma of wet diapers, this is indeed a baby


3. Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process

4. The 'paw slide.' Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up

5. Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented 'hug, smile, and lean' so as to achieve the best photo quality

We thought this was sooo cute. So, Mom pulled out my baby pictures and found that our Bloodhound Homer did a pretty good job on the steps. Obviously these were taken before the official instruction manual came out and it looks like he skipped the all important "flatten baby" step. But, I think he did a good job in his independant study.

Fore!

A couple months ago, my coworker Alison told me that she and her mother Margot were going to start taking golf lessons. I've always wanted to learn how to play, so I gracefully invited myself along and we had our first lesson yesterday.

It was such a beautiful morning. I was so excited to be out in the sunshine, surrounded by lucious greenery and wearing my cute new Old Navy polo that I had bought just for the occassion. I learned from my triathlons that a new wardrobe is one of the most important things you must purchase when starting a new sport. Forget the proper equipment, it's the clothes that really matter!

So, since this was just our first lesson, we started with the basics. Our instructor Ratzi (his real name) spent an hour teaching us how to stand, hold the club and swing it. Now, I know it may sound simple but there are seriously like 30 things you have to do all at once while you're hitting this dimply little white ball. It's the ultimate example of multi-tasking and at 9:30 on a Saturday morning after having margaritas with the girls at La Pinata the night before, it was a lot for me to handle. So I was surprised when I actually had to practice hitting the ball, that I did pretty good! My only issue was that I could either hit the ball up in the air and way to the right or I could hit it straight, but have it stay close to the ground. Then of course there were a few that landed 6 inches in front of me, or bounced off the metal partition. I understand now why those partitions are in place; they saved Margot from getting my ball in her backside a few times.

I of course did not fail to notice the excellent men to women ratio, which was about 1,000 to 5. We made friendly with two guys who were drinking Bloody Marys at 10:30am. My kind of fellas. One gave me his bucket of balls when it was their turn to tee off (I think that's the proper term). While I originally thought that was a come on, I quickly realized it was just normal driving range ettiquette. Either way, it gave me more time to practice.

Overall, the day was a success. My back is exremely sore today though from that awkward bent-over position, but at least I don't have blisters like Alison and Margot! We have 3 more lessons to go before we are ready for the LPGA, so just in case I think I'm going to get myself a glove to make sure my hands stay pain free. It will be my first official golf gear purchase!

Oh, and I got this in my spam email today. My back hurts so much I'm considering purchasing one: http://links.lowratesourceplaces.com/servlet/MailView?ms=MTQ5OTM3MAS2&r=MTExOTI2MjAzMDIS1&j=NDYwOTA2ODQS1&mt=1

Michelle Tells Tales

About a year ago I started a blog about training for my first triathlon. After my training ended (and I didn't collapse at the finish line) I continued doing triathlons but I stopped blogging about them. I guess I thought that topic had run its course and it wouldn't be as interesting after I grew out of that awkward novice stage. Now, I'm an expert triathlete! *insert eye roll here*

Yesterday, I was helping Sharon (my coworker Julie's mom) create a blog for her new business. As I was walking her through the steps of creating her account, I had to log into mine and I saw all my old postings. I started reading through them and I remembered how much fun I had writing. Then at dinner last night while catching up with old friends and colleagues, Priscilla mentioned my writing and wondered if I was, or should be, doing something with it. The truth is, I probably should be.

So, I figured that since several people told me they had enjoyed my blog (granted most were relatives) and I enjoyed writing it, I should start a new one! There's always stuff going on and Lord knows I enjoy telling stories, so I should never run out of topics.

So, welcome to "Michelle Tells Tales." I think the title has a certain tongue-twisting, tongue-in-cheek quality about it. Now, I can't make any sweeping promises about my postings, but what I can guarantee is that they will always include spelling errors, Ollie will occassionally be making appearances, I won't avoid embarrassing myself and my Nana will always look forward to getting them in the mail from my mother. And for those reasons only, you should check in as often as possible to read along....