The Lettuce Hater

Sometimes it just astounds me how absolutely clueless some people can be about their own behavior. You would think that by the time a person is 20, 30, 40 years old, they would have some sense of who they are and the persona they put out to the world. It's called self-awareness. And, I know someone who doesn't have any. At all.

Now, I'm not talking about those people at the beach who wear bathing suits when they probably shouldn't. Those people are just a little clueless. Or maybe they're brave, who knows. I'm talking about the other people. The people who think they are one way, but are the complete opposite. How about an example?

The person I am referring to, above all else in the entire world, hates lettuce. (she doesn't actually hate lettuce, but I'd rather not go into the true behavior she exhibits so I will use this lettuce analogy instead. I thought of this example last night while I was in the produce section of the grocery store.) And I mean she HATES lettuce! She can't stand to look at it, talk about it, touch it or even think about it. She'll change the channel when a cooking show comes on that features a recipe that contains lettuce. Above all else, she despises people who eat lettuce and has on many occasions, tried to get them in trouble for it. Most recently, she contacted a member of local government to complain about a woman (<--this part is actually true) who ate a salad (<--this part is not true).

The problem is, this woman is a lettuce farmer. She owns thousands of acres of lettuce and sells it to make a living. She is the president of the National Association of Lettuce Lovers and the Lettuce Eaters of America Federation aka. L.E.A.F. (I totally made that acronym up and it is awesome!) She spends about 12 hours a day talking about lettuce and eats it for every meal. But, if you were to tell her that it seems she actually loves lettuce, she would kill you. I mean, she could be eating a salad in front of you, telling you how much she hates salad eaters and still not get the irony. Then she would stab you with her fork. Well, not literally, but she would probably scream in your face and call you dirty names. Seriously. It's happened. (<--this part is true)

Now, this is obviously a silly analogy and her actual dichotomy is much more sinister. But, my point is that it amazes me that someone can act one way and absolutely despise people who behave the same way. I just don't get it. Just another mystery of life I guess.