Bumper Stickers

I was walking through the parking lot after work today when I passed a car with a bumper sticker that caught my eye. It said "STOP!" (I paused) and in smaller letters underneath..."Recycle your oil." Huh? That wasn't worth pausing to read let alone stopping for. Now, I get their point. Obviously, they care about the planet and want us to stop and think about what we do with our oil before we just throw it away. But really? You feel so strongly about this issue that you wanted to put a bumper sticker on your car? Do you know the percentage of people who actually change their own oil these days? And of those, don't most recycle it? Do people really dump their oil down the drains anymore?

Either way, it got me thinking about bumper stickers. I'm definitely not a bumper sticker person. Maybe it's because I don't feel passionately enough about something to want to risk my car's paint job. Don't get me wrong, I've seen a few pretty good ones. They're usually humorous ones that I assume were chosen with care. And I don't actually mind the "preachy" ones. (Though don't expect to win me over in the 10 seconds that I'm speeding past you on 680) But it's quite apparent that there are many bumper stickers out there that aren't strategically chosen. Ones that were given out free to someone who thought...Oh cool! Something free! I'll put this on my car right now! One of which I assume was the "recycle your oil" one.

My favorites are the old election stickers. Yes, you supported Obama in '08. Why is that sticker on your car two years later? Either you want to express your continued support for our President, or you just want everyone to know...you were right. Although, even better are the McCain and Palin '08 stickers that are still out there. It's time to give up on that dream. Not only is your support irrelevant, but your opinions are not supported by the majority. You support losers.

Side note to the guy I saw on the freeway yesterday: Bumper stickers are meant for your bumper, not the passenger side door. Don't think you're fooling anyone. You can still see the dent that you're trying to cover up.

I don't know. Maybe someday I'll be the proud parent of an honor student and want to advertise it to the world. But probably not. After a year or two, my kid won't be going to that school anymore so it will quickly become outdated. Maybe someday I'll find a sticker that says "I have no opinions, hobbies or political views." For that...I might actually consider risking my paint job.