The Mall

The following events happened just moments ago at the mall:

Drive, drive, drive
Man, there's like no parking here. Why is everyone at the mall?
Drive, drive, drive
Oh! There's a spot! Hmm, I'm quite far away. Oh well, I don't mind walking.
Take 10 steps
OMG! IT'S SO HOT!
Walk some more
Oh ok, this is ridiculous. Why is it so hot? I have to get inside.
Enter the mall, let the air conditioning wash over me
Now this is more like it! Ahhhh. This is the life.
Enter a store
Bleph. Whoa. What's happening?
Body temperature immediately starts rising
Oh geez, is their air conditioning not working? Why is it so hot in here?
Go up the escalator to the second floor
Oh my gosh it's even hotter up here
Go up the escalator to the third floor
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANG. What is up with this place?
Walk around the store for awhile looking at stuff
Oh God.
Walk around more, pretend not to be miserable
I cannot even handle this right now. There's no air in here. I can't breathe. I'm going to have an anxiety attack.
Try to decide between a couple items
My feet are swelling. I can actually feel my feet swelling. Where's a clerk? I'm seriously going to ask someone about this. Oh no, she looks too nice. Dang it! I have to get out of here. No more. Must decide. Just purchase! PURCHASE AND ESCAPE!
Choose something to purchase, take it to the register
Hurry it up lady.
Lights start turning off on the floor, politely ask: "is the air conditioning not working?" She answers: "yes, it's on. They're turning off the lights like they did yesterday so we save power and we can make sure the air conditioning doesn't go out. We're just on the third floor, that's why it's so hot."
LIAR! It's hotter in here than it is outside. There's no way the air conditioning is on. How can you stand it? HOW CAN YOU STAND IT??? I have to get out of here.
Go downstairs and exit
Wait. This doesn't look right. Oh crap. This is the second floor. I parked on the first floor. I have to go back in the building? Are you SERIOUS?
Go back in the building, go down to the first floor
It's just as hot down here as it was on the third floor.
Exit the building
Oh geez. My car is all the way over there. It's so HOOOOOOOOT!
Whine to myself silently
I hate my life.
Start walking down the aisle to my car
It's so far away. So. Far. Away.
Realize I'm on the wrong aisle
Lord, take me now.
Walk, walk, walk
Is that it? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Walk slower, slower, slower
I'm not going to make it. I'm so thirsty. Why? Whyyyyyyyy?
Find car, get in, turn on air conditioning
I'm too weak to drive. I'll never make it back to work.
Drive back to work, enter air conditioned building
Ahhhh. Life is good again.