Pressreleaseitis

Pressreleaseitis (n) – A rare disease contracted primarily by Public Relations Specialists in the field of real estate. Symptoms may include, but are not limited to; irritability, nervousness, hives, headaches, writer’s block, twitching, sudden outbursts of cursing and/or tears, double vision, coma-like states while staring at computer screens and death. There is no known cure. Symptoms tend to alleviate slightly between the hours of 5:00pm and 8:00am, though avoiding texting, personal emails and letter writing to relatives is highly recommended during these hours since activities are considered “writing” and could further aggravate writer’s block symptoms. Patients are encouraged to rest, avoid computers, stare out windows and drink coffee as often as possible. More severe cases of Pressreleaseitis tend to be found in Public Relations Specialists with less than six months of experience who have an ever increasing list of press releases to write. Press release templates have been found to help patients lessen their symptoms, though redundancy may lead to madness. While not medically proven, the use of thesauruses is widely believed to help avoid redundancy and said madness. As cases worsen, patients are encouraged to find the humor in their disease and write comedic passages to share with coworkers—or take a long vacation.